I remember one parent told me, "If I can do it all perfectly, that's what I'd call perfect." And I get it. We hold ourselves to this impossible standard. We tell ourselves, "You can't just leave it, right? You've got to do it all." But then we hit that wall, and we think, "It's fine, no big deal."
But here's the thing—if you could actually follow through on everything you say you're going to do, would that make you perfect? How would that feel? You really want to execute, but the second you actually do it, it's like, wait, wasn't this supposed to be done already? And the truth is, you're not even motivated anymore. So what's the point?
Why Perfect Is a Moving Target
Let me share a story. A mom once told me she spent three hours making a homemade birthday cake for her son. It looked gorgeous—straight from Pinterest. But she was exhausted, and when her son asked if they could play catch, she snapped at him. She said, "I did this for you!" And he just looked at the cake and said, "I wanted to play with you."
That moment hit her hard. She realized that perfection in her eyes wasn't what her son needed. He needed her to be present, not perfect. And that's the lesson for all of us. Perfection is a moving target. You'll always find something to fix, something to improve. But your child doesn't need a flawless parent. They need a real one.
The Power of Encouragement (Not Just Praise)
So here's the thing—you've got to play the role. You need something in you. You need encouragement. But is that just praise? No, because encouragement isn't just patting someone on the back. It's got movement in it. It's got your own color to it, like you're dancing your own steps under the sky.
Praise says, "Great job!" Encouragement says, "I see how hard you tried, and I love the way you kept going." Praise focuses on the outcome. Encouragement focuses on the effort. And that makes all the difference for a preschooler.
When you encourage your child, you're not just making them feel good. You're teaching them to notice their own progress. You're giving them the tools to motivate themselves, even when you're not around. That's a gift that lasts a lifetime.
Small Steps, Big Results
If you're just going through the motions, it's pointless. But a tiny bit of effort, and you'll think, "Hey, this isn't so bad." If you just give it a shot, you've already got it right. If you actually follow through, you'd be a perfect kid, wouldn't you? How does that feel? You'd totally want to do it.
All you have to do is take that first step. See? What you've said is already done. If you don't even try, there's no point. There's zero motivation. You've got to nail it. You need to have something, you need to bring encouragement.
Here's a simple example: Maybe your child is struggling to put on their shoes. Instead of doing it for them, you say, "I know you can do this. Let's try one shoe together, and then you finish the other." That's encouragement. You're giving them a little push, but they're doing the work. And when they succeed, they own it.
Give Yourself the Same Grace
One of the biggest mistakes we make as parents is forgetting to encourage ourselves. We're so busy cheering on our kids that we forget we need a spark too. So here's my challenge: next time you feel like you're falling short, stop and say, "I did that. I showed up. That counts."
Encouragement carries a spark, it carries your unique touch, like a little dance toward the sky. You've already done so much. So give yourself credit. And then pass that spark on to your child.
Because in the end, perfect isn't a destination. It's a feeling—the feeling that you tried, you loved, and you kept going. And that's something every child deserves to see in their parent.