Stop Asking These 4 Questions When Picking Up Your Kid

Parents who are meant to see this, listen up. Picking your kid up from school every day—how you ask that first question actually matters more than you think. Ask it right, and your child will happily chat with you the whole way home. Ask it wrong, and it might just make them feel like they don't even want to go back to school. So first, here are four questions you really shouldn't ask. Don't start with, "Did you miss Mommy and Daddy today?" Asking that way actually makes them more dependent and clingy, and it makes it harder for them to adjust to their life at school. And don't rush to ask, "Did the teacher scold you today?" That question carries a negative vibe from the get-go—it plants the idea that the teacher's the bad guy, and makes the kid wonder if they did something wrong. Some parents also ask, "Did anyone bully you?" That one just makes your child scared to make friends in the first place. Lastly, don't ask, "Did you behave well today?" It's way too vague and cold—your kid won't know how to answer it. And if they say no, wouldn't that just make you more worried? Instead, switch it up and ask something like, "What fun game did you play at school today?" or "Which friend did you have the most fun with today?"—get them to relive the good parts of their day. You could also ask, "Did the teacher praise you today? What was it for?" That helps them notice their own growth and builds their confidence. And if they didn't get praised, try asking, "Well, who did you help today?" or "Is there anything small you need help with from Mom or Dad?"—so they know no matter what happens, you've got their back. So here's the takeaway: every day when you pick them up, how and what you ask is really a quiet way of shaping how they see the world and themselves. Starting today, why not try asking it this way? Maybe your child will actually be more willing to open up and share all the little stories from their day.

00:00:02,399 Hey moms and dads, listen up. 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:05,120 What you ask when picking up your kid from school 3 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,799 actually matters a lot. 4 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:11,279 Ask the right questions, and your child will happily chat with you the whole way home. 5 00:00:11,279 --> 00:00:14,800 Ask the wrong ones, and it might actually make them feel stressed. 6 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:18,879 So first, here are four questions you should avoid. 7 00:00:18,879 --> 00:00:21,199 First off, don't start with 8 00:00:21,199 --> 00:00:23,199 "Did you miss mommy and daddy today?" 9 00:00:23,519 --> 00:00:27,719 Asking this can actually make your child more dependent. 10 00:00:27,879 --> 00:00:30,599 It makes it harder for them to adjust to preschool life. 11 00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:32,519 Also, don't rush to ask, 12 00:00:32,519 --> 00:00:34,519 "Did the teacher scold you today?" 13 00:00:34,519 --> 00:00:35,879 This question 14 00:00:35,879 --> 00:00:38,280 has a negative tone built right in. 15 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,560 It can make your child think the teacher is the bad guy. 16 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,960 Or wonder if they did something wrong. 17 00:00:44,359 --> 00:00:45,960 Some parents ask, 18 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,799 "Did anyone bully you?" 19 00:00:47,799 --> 00:00:51,159 This can make your child scared to make friends. 20 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:53,480 And finally, don't ask 21 00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,480 "Did you behave well today?" 22 00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:58,519 That question is way too vague. 23 00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,759 Kids don't even know how to answer it. 24 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,759 And if they say "no," 25 00:01:02,759 --> 00:01:04,759 won't that just worry you more? 26 00:01:05,239 --> 00:01:07,719 Instead, try asking it like this. 27 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,199 "What fun games did you play in kindergarten today?" 28 00:01:12,759 --> 00:01:16,679 "Which friend did you have the most fun playing with today?" 29 00:01:17,159 --> 00:01:21,239 Let your child recall the good things from their day. 30 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,679 "Did the teacher praise you today?" 31 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,920 "For what did they say you did well?" 32 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,160 This helps your child notice their own progress. 33 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,160 They'll become more and more confident. 34 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,560 If they didn't get praised, 35 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:36,840 you can also ask, 36 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:39,480 "Who did you help today?" 37 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,320 "Is there anything small 38 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:43,320 you need mommy and daddy to help you with?" 39 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,160 Let your child know 40 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,840 that no matter what happens, 41 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,640 Mom and Dad will always have their back. 42 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,640 Alright, let's wrap it up. 43 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:54,040 Every day when you pick up your child, 44 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,240 what 45 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,359 and how 46 00:01:56,359 --> 00:01:58,600 you ask is quietly 47 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,320 shaping how your child sees the world 48 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,520 and sees themselves. 49 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,000 Starting today after school, 50 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,719 try asking questions this way. 51 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,159 You might be surprised—your kid may actually want to share more 52 00:02:11,159 --> 00:02:13,159 about their day at school. -->